The State of Alabama's Law Enforcement

Please forgive me, all, for not writing in so long. Life has been busy... working the last little bit of my break, trying to earn some moolah before my last semester of school gets up and swinging. As a reward for all my hard work, I allowed myself a treat--a road trip to Birmingham to visit my best friend. This was all fun and good, until one night, coming into her apartment complex quite late, there was absolutely no parking whatsoever. Assured by Ginny that they do it all the time, that the apartment management told them it was a-ok, and no one cares, I parked in, literally the only spot available, a handicapped space. Now I do realize this is wrong, and even unlawful, but what else would you have done given the circumstances? I didn't mean any insensitivity to my handicapped friends, but since there was still one extra handicapped space left, just in case a handicapped friend came in at 3 in the morning, I parked, crashed into bed, and didn't think another thought about it until the next morning, when I went to move my car... there was a lovely pink card on my windshield. Suppressing many choice words from coming out of my mouth, I resolved just to be an adult and take care of it, intending to use my favorite act, "I'm a sweet little college student visiting from out of town, so could you please cut me a break just this one teeny tiny time, if I promise I'll never, ever do it again, pretty please, kind and strong, Mr. Officer Cleveland." However, after being juggled around at least five different branches of the State of Alabama's Law Enforcement centers, now I'm just mad. First of all, I called the number that was clearly printed by Officer Cleveland’s signature and the intelligent and helpful woman who answered informed me that there was no Officer Cleveland in that department. Hmm, interesting, since someone named Cleveland obviously was, the night before, putting cute cards on my windshield at 3 a.m. because, apparently, there is no crime on the streets of Birmingham more important than issuing parking tickets to out-of-state cars parked in the midst of a fairly upscale neighborhood of apartments. Well, it's been a week since that time, and finally, after resolving to just enjoy the rest of my visit, which I did, thank you very much, and deal with the ticket when I got home I decided to call the fine State of Alabama again and get the details I need to give them $100 as a donation for the invaluable lesson that you should always park outside the apartment complex and choose to walk half a mile up a Birmingham mountain rather than parking right across from where your friend lives in a handicapped space. Well, apparently, my ticket is not yet on file. I calmly and politely explain to the woman on the phone that I am from out of state, and in my state, a ticket must be paid within 10 days of it being issued (I know this because my little sister has had numerous tickets, me... just the one, for parking in a handicapped spot at 3 in the morning), so I just want to make sure I am not delinquent in my gift to the state. She informs me that they will send a letter to my home, as soon as, but not before, the next THREE WEEKS. I, wanting again to make sure my payment won't be late and I won't end up with an outstanding warrant for my arrest, ask her to clarify that I won't be late, as long as I pay the money before March 23, my court date. She tells me not to pay it until I get a letter in the mail, if it's not on record by then. Does that seem a little slow to anyone here but me? Can Officer Cleveland not walk downstairs and turn in his tickets, say, once a week or so, is that too much to ask? I know eating jelly doughnuts is important work, sir, but honestly, the exercise might be good for you. As stated earlier, I am about to go back to school and, being the efficient gal I am, would like to take care of this whole mess before I have to worry about papers, and buying textbooks, and class and all that jazz. While I'm in no particular hurry to fork over a hundred bucks to these geniuses, the whole system just doesn't seem very efficient to me. Maybe they can use my donation to help them install a new system where it's not unheard of for information to be processed in less than 2 months. Good grief, pretty sure in the Roman times, when they had messengers run news across the known world these things went quicker. Well, I hope I didn't tick any of you hardcore Alabamians off, because I really do love the state. I have been a resident before, and have many friends in the Ham, and have considered moving there again. But really... this whole dealio is ridiculous, if you ask me. If anyone has an uncle that's a judge or something on up there in the system, and you feel like calling in a favor for me, now's the time. Anyway, I appreciate all of you listening to me vent, nonetheless.

Happy New Year!

Cheers! Happy 2005!